When I found out my husband cheated after 11 years of marriage – I was completely devastated. It wasn’t just the fact that he had slept with another woman; I couldn’t understand how he could say he loves while cheating on me at the same time.
Isn’t this the essence of contradiction?
So I was left with this question: Can a man cheat and still love you?
How to Know if He Still Loves You
This question is quite difficult to answer. Only one person can give you a real answer to that question, and that’s your husband. Whether you believe him or not reflects the level of trust in your relationship.
A Few Insights to Help You Find Out Are:
1. What’s Love Got to Do With It
Understand that a cheating man can still love you is nearly impossible. You think that if he loved you he wouldn’t do turn your life into living hell by cheating on you.
But none the less, It’s definitely possible that your husband still loves you despite his infidelity.
Sometimes the love is still there, buried, under years of horrible communication.
It may also be buried under the hurt of emotional outbursts or years of silence.
People get confused. They lose their way. But just because they are lost, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have fallen out of love with you.
So, where do you go from here?
2. The “Magic Pill” Question
This is a question that will help you determine whether your husband still loves you. Ask him this: “If I could give you a magic pill that would make you suddenly fall deeply in love with ME again, would you take it?”
1. If he says YES – This is good news. Your husband probably still has deep feelings for you and he wants to rebuild your relationship. He just doesn’t know how to do it.
2. If he says something like “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”, or he tells you he has to think about it – Take your time to think about your answer to this question as well.
3. If he says “No I wouldn’t take the pill” – Your husband has probably checked out of your relationship, at least mentally. But it could also mean that his feelings are so buried that he is no longer aware of them. In some cases he will realize that he still loves you only when he has to sign the divorce papers.
Are you going to try the magic pill question to know if your husband still loves you?
Rooting for ya,
This is an excellent resource, to help you deal with your husband’s betrayal”. For me it was a life saver and I highly recommend it.
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