You don’t have to be ashamed. Believe it or not, MOST married couples go through rough times, in which one or both spouses fall out of love. But if you truly want to know how to love your husband again, there’s a very good chance that you can save your marriage and even make it happier than it ever was.

What you need is commitment, knowledge, and a set of skills that have helped other couples create great marriages (If you want to learn these skills from a professional family therapist – This is where to start).

The #1 Secret to Restoring the Love

Your friends and confidants will probably tell you that it’s impossible to force your self into falling in love with your spouse. You either feel the love, or you don’t.

That is simply not true.

You were once deeply in love with your husband. These feelings are probably still there, but they can’t get out because they are stuck behind anger, frustration, exhaustion and unresolved conflicts. If there was a way to lift these negative feelings, the love that you once felt can resurface again – Very quickly.

The secret is controlling your ancient instinct – The anger instinct. This is one of the most important steps to take if you want to rebuild the love in your marriage. Anger has turned your husband from your best friend to your enemy.

Do You Know How Your Best Friend Turned into Your Enemy?

 You may find it hard to believe, but anger – An ancient instinct that was intended to help us deal with a TRUE enemy – is exactly what turned your husband into your enemy. As a modern society, we managed to control other ancient instincts: We will not have sex with the first person we see on the street, even if we are feeling horny. We won’t snatch someone else’s sandwich from his hands – even if we are very hungry. But we can’t seem to control our anger responses.

When we are attacked (even if it’s just verbally) we immediately feel that the attacker is our enemy.

The moment you attack your spouse or your spouse attacks (accusation, blaming, personal criticism, name calling), you will automatically identify each other as enemies. And who can LOVE their enemy?

With time, you feel like the love is lost and all you can concentrate on is that your husband annoys you, that he is selfish, and you don’t understand why he is so mean to you. This can and will destroy your marriage.

So…How to Love Your Husband – Again?

The only solution is to start treating your husband as your best friend instead of your enemy. Easier said than done, right?

You have to control the ancient instinct of anger. You have a conscious mind and only YOU decide how to behave and what to say in life situations. Every time you speak to your husband, or he speaks to you, remind yourself to communicate with him as if he was your best friend.

You don’t have to agree with what he says, you don’t have to do what he demands you to do and you don’t have to like the way he talks to you. Consider it a good thing that the communication is still there. That he is trying to share something with you, even if he doesn’t know how to do it nicely.

It won’t be easy.

But when you start treating him like your best friend, he will do the same with you, even without noticing it at first. If you don’t attack him when you communicate, he will stop identifying you as his enemy too.

This is not a simple process and there are more step by step instructions for rebuilding the love in your marriage – Right here.

Even if you are the only one trying, it will make a significant change to your relationship, guaranteed. If you can accomplish this, the next steps will be much easier. This is the first step in the path of finding that deep and passionate connection you have always dreamt of.

I hope this advice has helped you (even just a little…). If you think others can benefit from it, please share it with your friends.

All the power to you,

Lisa

]]> http://www.how-to-save-marriage.org/how-to-love-your-husband/feed/ 0 http://www.how-to-save-marriage.org/online-marriage-counseling/ http://www.how-to-save-marriage.org/online-marriage-counseling/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2012 08:17:10 +0000 Lisa http://www.how-to-save-marriage.org/?p=376 Online marriage counseling is becoming increasingly more popular over the last few years – And for very good reasons. Online couples counseling services offer the same qualified and experienced professionals (via phone, chat or email), but with added benefits that traditional counseling just can’t provide. Some people opt for ongoing counseling with a [...]]]> Online marriage counseling is becoming increasingly more popular over the last few years – And for very good reasons. Online couples counseling services offer the same qualified and experienced professionals (via phone, chat or email), but with added benefits that traditional counseling just can’t provide. Some people opt for ongoing counseling with a single counselor, while others choose a single session with a counselor just for guidance on a specific matter.

The Top 4 Benefits of Online Marriage Counseling Over Traditional Sessions

There is little doubt that marriage counseling works (you can the statistics here), but the traditional system has a few major flaws that make some of us hesitant about using it. This is how online marriage counseling solves all these problems (thus becoming the most effective solution to save your marriage):

1. The Price

Problem: Traditional couples counseling is usually very expensive. An average session costs about 200$ (and let’s not forget the cost of getting to and from the clinic) and after a few months of counseling you may realize that your savings are gone.

 Solution: Online marriage counseling is cheaper. It’s not because the therapist is any less credentialed, experienced and professional. It’s because he or she don’t have clinic-keeping costs. Also, you pay per minute and not per session. So if your phone call or chat took only 10 minutes, you only pay for 10 minutes.

2. Availability and Comfort

Problem: Traditional counseling is usually consisted of weekly sessions. You have to “stuff” all your frustration and pain to one hour a week. But our marriage exists all week, 24/7 and many times we need help right now. But we don’t get it. Second, many of us simply don’t have the time to get to and from the clinic.

 Solution: Marriage counseling online is conducted at the privacy of your own home. No time is wasted to get to and from the sessions, but more importantly, it’s available almost 24/7. Even if it’s in the middle of the night, you can send an email, or pick up the phone and you will be helped almost immediately.

3. Choice of Counselors and Privacy

Problem: Face to face sessions require you to choose a counselor that has a clinic near by. You can’t start traveling for hours every week for your meetings. This limits the choice of counselors you have. Second, attending the same clinic every week raises the unwanted risk of running into a familiar face going in and out of it (who wants that?…).

Solution: Online counseling means you can talk to any counselor, no matter what part of the world you live in. It also means that your privacy and anonymity is secured. You won’t run into anyone because you’re at home, and you don’t even have to tell the counselor your name.

4. Spouse Motivation

Problem: Unfortunately, every marriage in crisis has a spouse who is much less willing to seek marriage counseling. That’s just the way it is. It’s very easy for a reluctant spouse to use excuses such as “I don’t have the time to go to therapy, I’m too busy at work”, or “We don’t have the money for this”.

 Solution: Your spouse can no longer use these excuses because the sessions can occur day or night, after work hours and on weekends and he or she don’t even have to leave the house. And the money is not an issue when you can stop the session at any time and pay accordingly. Most online counseling services offer the few first minutes for free and you only pay if you decide to hire the therapist. That seems fairer to me.

 How Exactly Does it Work?

On the right side of this website you can see the welcoming faces of a few of the best Live Person marriage counselors (LivePerson is the world’s leading provider of personal online expert counseling to thousands of people worldwide). They are all LICENSED and experienced professionals and you can see the rating and reviews they have recently received right next to their name. You can get your spouse or start immediately on your own – What ever and how ever you want.

 Step 1 – Browse through the professional counselors’ profiles and choose a counselor (on the right side of the website).

Step 2 – Contact a Live counselor for immediate assistance. Click “Contact LIVE!” and start chatting with your personal counselor.

Step 3 – Start paying for your session ONLY when you are ready.

I Hope this article has helped you, please share it with your friends and I would love to read your personal experiences and opinions in the comments below.

 All the power to you,

 Lisa

]]> http://www.how-to-save-marriage.org/online-marriage-counseling/feed/ 1 http://www.how-to-save-marriage.org/online-marriage-counselor/ http://www.how-to-save-marriage.org/online-marriage-counselor/#comments Wed, 28 Dec 2011 08:45:28 +0000 Lisa http://www.how-to-save-marriage.org/?p=347 Every day, more and more people are discovering the benefits of online marriage counseling as an immediate solution for saving their marriage. But…why? What are the benefits of an online marriage counselor over traditional counseling and how to find a certified and trusted professional? This guide has the answers.

The Benefits on Online [...]]]>

Online marriage counselor

Every day, more and more people are discovering the benefits of online marriage counseling as an immediate solution for saving their marriage. But…why? What are the benefits of an online marriage counselor over traditional counseling and how to find a certified and trusted professional? This guide has the answers.

The Benefits on Online Marriage Counseling Over Traditional Therapy

1. Availability – The most important benefit of an online marriage counselor is his immediate availability. You can’t wait when you need answers NOW. Most marriage counselors online are available to talk to you, either by phone or mail, every day. You don’t have to wait for a whole week to your next counseling session to while trying to salvage your relationship.
2. It does NOT take 2 to tango – While traditional marriage counseling requires both you AND your spouse to attend the weekly sessions, the best online marriage counselors can help you save your marriage even if your spouse is not willing to participate. One person can save and restore a marriage and the top online marriage counselors will teach you how to motivate your spouse to work on your marriage with you.
3. Cost – Traditional face to face marriage counseling is a very expensive treatment, while results are not even guaranteed and many times it simply fails. Only those who tried traditional sessions that failed to save their marriage can tell you how frustrating it is to spend most of their savings and ending up divorced at the end. Online marriage counseling costs significantly less, offers money back guarantees and if it doesn’t work – At least you haven’t thrown your hard earned money down the drain.

How to Find a Certified and Trusted Online Marriage Therapist

As more and more people are looking for online counseling, more and more marriage-saving-programs are popping up online. How do you find a trusted and certified professional and prevent being scammed?
Well, this is what I am here for…

The Top 2 Most Trusted Online Marriage Counseling Programs

After a long research, looking for testimonials of real people (on forums) I have found the top 2 most recommended marriage counseling programs (I have used one of them with great success so I am a little biased…)

Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness

Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation.
The Marriage Fitness program is actually an alternative to marriage counseling. You can choose from a variety of solutions: private Tele-Sessions with Fertel, The Marriage Fitness Tele Boot Camp, Audio Learning System and more. I have found that most people choose the Tele-Boot-Camp. It’s probably the most affordable way to get real marriage help and counsel. It offers a lot of resources and also personal access to a professional counselor. You don’t need ant special technology, just a telephone and you can start any time, whether you are trying to save your marriage alone of with your spouse. The first step in Marriage Fitness is to sign up for the Free e-series of emails that includes a Free relationship assessment, no strings attached. You can sign up – Right here.

Marriage Sherpa Marriage Coaching

The Marriage Sherpa program offers a few solutions: One of them is a complete step by step system to saving your marriage, created by Dr. Frank Gunzburg, a well known family therapist with 30 years of experience in marriage counseling. The program delivers over 200 pages of practical tools, steps and methods that work, and also a companion workbook to help you understand what the real problems are, where they come from and how to fix them. I actually used this system and saved my marriage (almost shattered by my husband’s affair). You can find out more at the official website – Right here.

I truly hope this information has helped you and saved you a few tedious hours of research about an online marriage counselor. If you found it helpful please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or anywhere…Thanks!:)

How to regain trust in a relationship - 5 Signs to Look For

When I found out my husband had an affair, my first instinct was to throw him out and call my lawyer.
After the initial rage was gone, I started to think more clearly. I thought about our children, I thought about everything, and I decided to give my marriage and my husband one last chance.
One of the first things I wanted to find out is how to regain trust in a relationship. This is because I truly believed that I could never ever trust him again. Ever. I didn’t know where to start, but one day I stumbled upon an article by John Alken and suddenly I knew what to look for. I want to share it with you now:

How to Regain Trust in a Relationship – Top 5 Signs That You Should Look For Today

1) They cut all contact with their lover
Your cheating partner needs to cut all contact with their lover. This can be difficult if they work together, mix in the same social circles or live next door. However, if you’re going to trust them again you need to know their lover is out of the picture. If they ever contact your partner again you also need an agreement that this goes to you first before they respond back. You must work as a team now and be totally transparent.

2) They show remorse and accept responsibility
You don’t want to hear excuses like “it was an accident”, “all men cheat — it’s what we do!’, or “I don’t know why it happened?” Nor do you want them to tell you that it was nothing and to downplay it all. Instead, they must show you real pain and remorse for their actions and take full responsibility for their bad choices. If they don’t, then you’ll simply keep your guard up because everything indicates that they’ll do it again.

3) They answer your questions

Most people who have been cheated on will have specific questions they need answered. You’ll have graphic images running around your head that never stop, and you’ll obsess about what exactly happened. You must be able to ask your questions — however graphic &3151 to get the pieces of the puzzle. If they aren’t prepared to answer these questions or they give you vague responses then you’ll suspect they’re hiding something and you’ll never move forward.

4) They follow new rules
To move forward with trusting your partner again they’re going to need to follow some of your new specific rules. It might be that they take off all passwords from their cell phone and computer, show you weekly bank statements and monthly phone bills, or come home from work at 6pm every night. They might need to ring you twice a day, stop work travel, or cut off contact with toxic friends. Whatever the rules, your partner needs to make these a priority.

5) They address relationship issues
If they manage to get this far and show you all of these signs, then it’s time for you both to turn your attention to your relationship. There will be aspects of this that aren’t working and you’ll both need to give this an overhaul. In the end, your relationship must be different moving forward if you’re going to survive. Look at the areas of communication, sex, time spent together, socializing, parenting, finances, housework and in-laws. Get in a professional if you have to, but make sure that these problem areas don’t remain obstacles to re-building trust. The original article is here.

There you have it. Does it make sense to you as it did to me? After I found (almost) all of these signs in my relationship, and learned more about how to regain trust in a relationship, I could move to next step in my “how to save marriage” plan – Dealing with obsessive images and negative thoughts. Read my article about how to do that – Here!

And most importantly, please tell your friends about this article, to help spread the word that about how to regain trust in a relationship. Thanks!:)

How to save Marriage - Add the missing ingredient!

Even if your marriage is in crisis and instead of a happy union it feels more like unpaid, overtime work, you can probably still remember how it used to be. It used to be butterflies in your stomach; it used to be full of romance and laughs. You were once deeply in love. Sometimes it’s hard to understand how your relationship got to where it is now and what exactly happened over time.

There isn’t a way to not do the work when you are searching for how to save marriage. But it doesn’t have to be all hard work and serious conversations. There is one critical ingredient in saving your marriage that is probably missing for a long time. This guide will reveal this one crucial peace and how to implement it right away.

How to Save Marriage With These Critical Elements

When couples talk about saving a marriage, this is what they think it means:

Tense discussions about problems in their marriage; awkward silences; negative thoughts and emotions; hard efforts to develop communication; accusations and fights.

Does this motivate you to saving your marriage? I’m guessing NO.

It’s true; all of these are critical elements if you want to save your marriage or relationship. But – there is one critical element that is missing here and without it will be almost impossible to succeed. The good news: This crucial peace of the puzzle is actually not exhausting at all!

(If you want to Discover Exactly What You Need to Do and Say to Save Your Marriage and prevent your divorce – Click Here – Right Now!)

The Crucial Element in Saving Your Marriage

The missing ingredient is…FUN!

Do you remember that word? Do you remember the times when your relationship was mostly fun? The survival of your relationships Demands It!

Fun has probably become a distant memory in light of recent events in your marriage. But in order to move forward as a couple, you and your partner need to rebuild the bond. If both of you focus on building  By focusing on building good memories once again, the bad memories and negative feelings will start to lose their power on your relationship.

Here are some steps you can take to regain the fun back to your marriage:

Step #1 – Create a Date List

Instead of the usual tense atmosphere and the constant accusations, take a positive step: sit down and brainstorm date ideas, or separately think about 5 ideas and then combine the lists together.

Step #2 – Choose One Idea and Plan the Date

Calendar the chosen date plan. Do it right now, mark it with ink. It’s time for action. This will show both of your commitment to start building new and positive experiences.

Step #3 – Deciding to Put Aside Conflict for the Date

Even though you are going on “a date”, it doesn’t mean that all the negative thoughts have disappeared. Below the surface there is fire and you will probably contemplate what to discuss, how to behave and what to do on the date.

Agree that for this date, you both commit to relax, leave your conflicts behind and steer clear of “the hot buttons” in your relationship. You may be surprised by how much fun this date can be and how you can very easily fall back in love with your partner and him or her – with you.

This is just one part in your journey to saving your marriage. Other crucial steps need to be taken immediately if you really want to save your marriage and prevent a breakup or divorce.

To Find Out the Next Steps and Save Your Marriage Today – Click Here Right Now!

Saving a marriage after an affair

Getting over obsessive and haunting images of your husband cheating – Is a big part of saving a marriage after infidelity. These images keep coming back like a horror movie in your head, causing loss of sleep, decreased appetite and even difficulty to focus and perform simple daily tasks. If this is how you feel, you are not alone. Here you find 3 steps for overcoming these awful images so you can get your life back and start the healing process after an affair.

What Are The Most Common Images After Husband Affair?

If you just recently found out about your husband cheating – You must feel an unimaginable amount of pain. Even if you didn’t get all the ugly and specific details – you can fill the blanks alone. The most common images are: Your husband and the other woman hugging, kissing, having passionate sex or any other romantic and intimate scenario, the other woman being gorgeous, funnier, smarter and more charming than you, your husband looking at her in a way he has never looked at you, or treating her he never bothered treating you. Sounds familiar?

These images get stuck in your mind, leaving you powerless and without strength for healing and saving a marriage that went through infidelity.

It’s time to put a stop to this and get rid of these images – today!

3 Steps for Overcoming obsessive images fast

Step #1 – Give the Images Their Special Time

Set the images on a clock. Decide. Set a time during the day when you have a few minutes to sit down and allow these images fill your mind. This is how you start to take control of your mind again. When an image comes to you, quickly remind yourself that this is not the time for it yet, it should have to wait for the scheduled time.

It’s the first step and it’s a subtle one – You start to control what comes to your mind – and when. It will give you unbelievable strength.

Step #2 – Invite Them In

At the special time you set for them – Let the images in. Remember, you are only temporarily allowing them in and it will only be a few minutes of suffering – instead of all day long.

Step # 3 – “Play” With the Images

In order to prove to yourself that these images have nothing to do with the reality – You can “play” with them. While you are in that “special time” – Try and rewind them. Treat them like a movie you are watching on your DVD and just rewind it all the way. This will remind you only your imagination is causing these images. Not reality.