How To Save Marriage

Marital Problems – 6 Signs That You Need Marriage Counseling Right Now

Lisa Penn — Sun, 13 May 2012 11:00:37 +0000

You must forgive my morbid analogy, but marital problems are like cancer. The earlier you detect it and treat it, the more chances you have to beat it and survive.

Marriage problems are the same. If you address your problems early on and solve them on time, you dramatically increase the survival chances of your relationship. If you put it off and wait for the problems disappear on their own, don’t be surprised to be heading straight to divorce.

To be aware to your relationship troubles is not enough. It’s like knowing that you have cancer and not do anything about it. And you can’t do it alone; you need outside help – Professional help.

6 Signs That You Need Couples Counseling Right Now

This is a list of the most dangerous marital problems; those that left unsolved will most likely end your marriage. If you have one or more of these problems, it’s time to seek some kind of marriage counseling, or couples therapy – Right now.

Sign #1 – Lack of Communication and Support

Two recent studies, published in the American Journal of Family Psychology, found that couples who went on to divorce were more likely to be poorer communicators, and tended to display more negative emotions and support mechanisms than people who stayed married.

For example, the couples who went on to divorce were more likely to use blame and invalidation in their communication efforts. They were more likely to discourage a spouse from expressing his or her feelings, and to display “inappropriate pessimism.” Husbands who were more verbally aggressive early on were also more likely to be part of couples who went on to divorce later. (Source is here)

No problem in a marriage can be solved without open, honest communication. Lack of personal, intimate exchange in a marriage is a very bad sign.

Sign#2 – Marriage Resembles a Battlefield

No matter how in love you used to be and how much fun you used to have, many of us wake up one morning and realize that the marriage has turned into a battlefield (Very often – After having children).

Lines are drawn; you stick to your guns on every issue. You dig in on your side; your husband digs in on the other side. Neither of you will budge.

This pushes all your intimacy away and you no longer enjoy his company.

With time, you find yourself taking a “side” opposite your spouse. This damages the very foundation of your marriage. When “We” turns into “me” is a definite reason to seek marriage therapy immediately.

Sign #3 – The Wrong “Fighting Style”

Seven long term studies have found that that the way that a couple handles conflicts can predict if they will end up divorcing. The studies included people from all ranges on the marriage spectrum, from newlyweds to long-term marriages.

While fighting is normal in any relationship, and even essential (because no two people will ever agree about everything), your “fighting” style can predict if the marriage can survive the conflicts or not. These are the signs that your conflict resolution process requires urgent help:

When conflict emerges, you wait until things build up and than explode. You or your partner talks down to you and criticizes you harshly. One or both of you are simply mean to each other.
You or your spouse do not express yourself directly, but beat around the bush hoping the other side will “get it”and you constantly bring up past hurts.
A simple disagreement is always escalated and getting out of control.

Sign #4 – Relationship Stagnation

Are you one of many couples out there who, every night, sit across the dinner table from one another (if you still have dinner together) and wonder “who is this person I am living with? Why did I marry him?

When a marriage falls into stagnation, it’s because somewhere along the line one or both of you stopped taking care of it. Nothing is really “wrong” with our marriage; it’s just boring and stuck. You have to work to pay the bills, maybe you have kids to take care of, and/or sick, elderly parents who require your care and attention. You don’t have time to spend with your spouse.

If your relationship doesn’t continue to grow, it’s wallowing. This is a dangerous seed that needs to be attended to. Marriage stagnation is why a marriage breaks down. You care about everything else but the marriage and it will be sacrificed as a result

Sign #5 – Little to No Sex Life

The breakdown of your sex life is one of the most recognized signs of a failing marriage. Sexual intimacy is critical for the bond between a husband and a wife.

To put is simply, a marriage without sex will, at some point, end up in divorce or being a marriage of convenience. The next step is usually an emotional and/or physical affair.

If your husband has a low sex drive – My article about Sexless Marriage will help YOU. If you are the one losing interest in sex, my post titled “I Love My Husband but I Don’t Want Sex Anymore” may interest you.

Sign #6 – The Bad Overweighs the Good

Most of us are able to look deep inside and answer this question truthfully: Is there more bad than good in our marriage?

If the answer is yes, your marriage is in trouble and you need marriage counseling of some sort. The cancer will grow and eat up your marriage until it’s over, if you don’t act and do something right now.

If you are hesitant about traditional marriage counseling (many of us are) because of the high costs, the lack of privacy, availability and comfort, you have other options.

The first option is a marriage saving program online, which is a step by step self-help book (with work books) that shows you exactly what and how to resolve your marital problems. It costs less than one session of marriage therapy and it can be just as effective (it was for me anyway).

The second option is online marriage counseling, which is also much less expensive (because you usually per minute) and you can do it from home at your preferred time and with total privacy (you can learn more about this option – Right Here).

What ever you decide to do – Just do it. Don’t let the marriage cancerous problems doom your relationship and don’t wait until it’s too late. There are some points in a marriage when nothing can help it anymore, but you can prevent yourself from getting there.

Don’t WAIT, ACT NOW.

I wish you a long and happy marriage,

Lisa

My husband Cheated on Me – How Do I Live Through the Painful Emotions?

Lisa Penn — Mon, 07 May 2012 07:57:49 +0000

You keep hearing it in your head but you still can’t believe it. “My husband cheated on me“. Is this a nightmare that I’ll soon wake up from and forget? Did this happen to ME?

When you first found out that your spouse had an affair, the sense of betrayal can be almost unbearable. In a single moment, you were ripped from a life you have counted on and felt safe in. Your marriage and family was a foundation for your life. Could it really be gone now? What can you possibly do?

More than every thing, you just want it to go away. You want to restore the life that you knew, that you thought was safe, with the one you love. But how can you deal with the disappointment, the jealousy, the anger, the shock, the fear, the frustration and how do you pull out the knife that was stuck in your back?

These are the Five Most Common Shockwaves You Have to Struggle With:

#1 – How Could This Have Happened to Me?

There are two steps to deal with this question. The first one is to cry it out. Let the tears run wild, feel sorry for yourself and allow the grief to take over. But just for a while. When the tears subside, take a deep breath and go to the second step.

The second step is to actually try an answer this question by yourself. How did it happen? What were the events that lead to the infidelity in your marriage?

In this sense the question is incredibly important.

#2 – How Long has it been Going on Without My Knowledge?

After the initial shock, you may start to feel foolish. How could I be so blind and not know that dear husband is cheating? You feel like you’ve been like a “sucker”. Deceived and utterly betrayed.

If you feel like a dope for being lied to so “easily”, you are being too hard on yourself. It doesn’t say anything about your character and it has nothing to do with your intelligence.

An affair is a result of a long process. It’s hard to notice every little sign that an affair is about to happen and sometimes we just really don’t want to see the signs. We push away the concerns and suspicions because it’s the last thing we want to deal with.

#3 – Are There Other People Who Know and Didn’t Tell Me?

If the betrayal is not enough, you may feel even more betrayed if you find out that other people knew about his affair before you did, and never told you. It’s normal to feel this way, but right now you have to remember that this crisis is between you and your spouse, not between you and them. After that, try to give them the benefit of the doubt until you hear their explanation.

#4 – Can I Ever Trust Him Again?

It’s a very reasonable question. He has broken your trust and trust can not be restored once it’s broken, right?

Wrong. The truth is that you CAN trust again, if your spouse can learn to be totally transparent, trustworthy and demonstrate his willingness by showing you in other ways that he deserves your trust. But this is a process that involves some critical steps and in my opinion – Not something that the both of you can do without professional help.

If this is the hardest part in your journey to survive an affair – I highly recommend this guide to get you through it and achieve a better better relationship than ever.

#5 – Is My Relationship Over?

No and no. I’m saying this assuming that your spouse hasn’t picked up his things and left. That he chose and keeps choosing you every day ever since this happened. That he insists he wants to solve this.

Your marriage or relationship isn’t over if you don’t want it to be. In fact, I’m a living proof that you can save your relationship and even have a better one than ever, if you take advantage of this crisis and rebuild the honesty and the love – The right way.

No, you are NOT a doormat if you choose to stay with him. You are not a sucker and you are not making a mistake, and don’t let anyone poison you with these negative feelings.

But, and I can’t emphasize this enough, don’t try to do this on your own.

So many people attempt to survive an affair without some kind of professional help only to find themselves stuck in a vicious circle of anger, resentment, negative emotions and mistrust.

There are critical steps you have to take if you want to do this right:

First you have to start with individual healing – Understanding personal healing and sorting through your emotions (betrayal. disappointment, vengefulness, fear, paranoia, anger).

The second step is healing as a couple – Working together to identify and resolve key issues in your relationship.

The third step is negotiating a renewed relationship – How to rebuild and sustain a new, loving, trust filled partnership.

You can find exactly how to do all of this – In this excellent guide and workbook.

I know you don’t believe me right now, but it is possible to put these painful emotions behind you. It’s somewhat sad, but the truth is you have to come in contact with these feelings and explore them (again – the right way) before you can get past them.

But once you accept them, I assure you that you will be in a much better position to cope with them (and win!)

I hope you found this article helpful and hopeful…and more importantly, I hope you remember that you are not alone. You won’t believe how many couples are going through this crisis right now. One baby step at a time and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel – I promise.

All the power to you,

Lisa

P.S

You may also be intersted in these articles:

How to Save Your Marriage Alone – Without His Cooperation?

How to deal With Obsessive Images of His Affair

Benefits of Online Marriage Counseling

How to Know if Your Husband Still Loves You

I Love My Husband But I Don’t Want Sex Anymore – Can My Marriage be Saved?

Lisa Penn — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 08:26:56 +0000

“I adore my husband, but I don’t want to have sex with him. We used to have sex all the time. I was passionately attracted to him, but now the thought being intimate repels me. It is very stressful to be with him especially alone and at night because he always makes advances on me. I hate having to hurt him every time he wants me.
I think it started when I was pregnant with our first child. I gradually lost interest in sex, but I hoped it will come back to me after having our baby.

But it didn’t. Years went by and though I think our relationship is fine, I find myself running away from his attempts every time. Deep down inside I am afraid that my attraction to him is lost forever. I am always concerned that he will cheat on me because of this and the concept of leaving scares me to death. We have a good relationship, until he wants sex.

Is it worth it for me to give up everything that I have with my husband and maybe could have because of one (very important) thing? How can I save my marriage?”

"Our marriage is great, until he wants sex"

I received this mail from one of my readers, let’s call her Ann, and I think she accurately describes one of the most common problems in marriage. Especially – Marriage after children. Can you identify with Ann’s story?

Can a Marriage Survive Without Sex?
You already know that sex is one of the most important things in marriage. If it’s been a long time since you (reluctantly) had sex with your husband, you probably forgot why; The intimacy that you share afterwards, the hugs and kisses, the lifted mood and jokes, the closeness and bonding that sex brings to a relationship.

And whether you like it or not (don’t shoot the messenger) – Men can’t go on for long without sex. Even if they can technique relieve their built up physical need by themselves, it’s not enough and it doesn’t replace a “real sexual intercourse” – With someone else. They will end up looking for it else where – It’s just a matter of time.

So Yes – Not having sex with your husband is a major divorce booster.

Do You Know The REAL Reason For Your Low Sex Drive?
It’s one thing if you secretly despise your husband. In this case it’s clear why you don’t want to be sexually intimate with him. But it’s another thing if your marriage is doing o.k. (I won’t say “great” or “amazing ’cause I haven’t heard about many amazing marriages) and you still consider sex as another chore you have to do – After the dishes, before the cooking.
Sure, low sex drive can be a result of many things: Menopause, libido reducing medication, pain during intercourse, decreased libido due to age, but…
The most common reason for losing interest in sex with him is a troubled relationship. Even if you think that everything is o.k., you have ups and downs like every one else – You probably sweeping some stuff under the rug. Or you don’t want to admit to yourself that something is really wrong, or missing. Sometimes you just don’t have the energy to deal with it. And you hope the problem will solve itself.

How long can you take the stress?

But I Can Assure You – This Problem Won’t Solve Itself.

• Maybe he hasn’t been an equal partner in raising your children. Maybe this disappoints you day after day.
• Maybe you feel he is selfish, and doesn’t much care about your needs.
• Maybe you feel that sometimes he doesn’t “see you”.
• Maybe he cheated. Or has otherwise deeply hurt you in the past. You think you forgave him, but you didn’t.
• Maybe he was unfaithful or almost unfaithful and you can’t put it behind you.
• Maybe you are tired and exhausted and he doesn’t help as much as you think he can.

These feelings are all signs of a troubled marriage. It’s true that millions of women feel the way you do, but on you the affect is a non existent sex drive. It has made you emotionally and thereby sexually detached from him.
It’s normal; it’s the way women are built. Men can feel the same kind of frustration and still want to have sex every day. They are different.

How Can you Prevent Him From Cheating and How to Save Your Marriage?
There’s no running away from it, you need professional help. You can’t wait a minute longer if you want to salvage your relationship. You will motivate your husband to stay faithful and committed just by taking the first step and showing him that it is important to you as is it to him. That you haven’t given up on your love and your marriage, that you want to solve this.

These are your options:
1. Sex therapy – This is supposed to be an obvious option, but I don’t know how helpful a sex therapist is – for solving underlying marriage problems.

2. Marriage counseling – Look for a local marriage counselor that is highly recommended by other people. The disadvantage is the high cost and lack pf privacy. If you don’t want your local community to know about this – Maybe it’s not a good idea.

3. Online Marriage counseling – A better choice if you are on a tight budget and don’t one anyone to know. Online marriage counselors are just as professional and experienced, and online counseling has a few great benefits that you haven’t considered – You can find out about them – Right Here.

4. Marriage Saving Programs – This is counseling without counseling. I recommend the Marriage Sherpa program, just because I personally used it with great success in my marriage. It’s a complete step by step system to saving your marriage, created by Dr. Frank Gunzburg, a well known family therapist with 30 years of experience in marriage counseling. The program delivers over 200 pages of practical tools, steps and methods that work, and also a companion workbook to help you understand what the real problems are, where they come from and how to fix them. It costs less than one session with a counselor and I think the 50% discount is still on – Right Here.

No matter what you choose to do – Just do it! Take the first step. Call a sex therapist, a marriage therapist; consider the marriage saving program, just sign up for a free newsletter – What Ever – Just do something, before it’s too late.
I wish the best marriage you can possibly have and remember – The power to change your marriage is on your hands. One step a day is all you need.

I hope you liked this article and found it to be helpful. Please share it with your friends – Who knows, maybe it could help them too…:)

All the power to you,
Lisa

Planning to Confront a Cheater? Ignore These Rules at Your Own Risk

Lisa Penn — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 08:54:53 +0000

I’ll start with a warning: Do NOT confront a cheater without a good plan. If you don’t follow some critical rules, most chances he will either angrily run out of the house (allowing him to get his story straight), or stay and turn the focus to you (by attacking you for snooping on him, or blaming you for your problems etc). This guide will show you the right way to confront cheating and getting the truth out of him – Today.

How to Confront a Cheater?

Rule #1 – Prepare Yourself for Complete Denial

No wonder this song by Shaggy topped the charts for so long. It simply describes what most cheaters say when they are confronted:

Before you learn how to confront a cheater, prepare yourself to this: The majority of cheating spouses will deny-deny-deny infidelity until they are blue in the face. Some cheaters will deny an affair even if you present them with hard evidence.

WHY?

He will deny because even if you thought he was your best friend, the one person that would never lie to you this way, the fact is that you will probably catch him unprepared. He doesn’t have his story straight yet, he hasn’t decided whether he wants to admit cheating, how to tell you about it, how much to reveal and in case of a long term affair – Admitting usually means he will have to end the affair, which is also something he may have not decided about yet.

Rule #2 – Do Not Confront a Cheater before You have Evidence

Do you have proof??

I can’t stress this enough. If you don’t have physical evidence, such as nude pictures, emails describing his passion and love for her, a receipt for jewelry or a motel – Do NOT confront him.

If you don’t have proof you will only give him a warning to be more careful from now on and he will start to hide the affair much better, which means you may never find proof. Second, if you don’t have proof - You might be wrong. He could be faithful to you, and if you wrongly accuse him you could destroy your relationship.

(If you have trouble finding proof – This Report will teach you how to easily do it – Right now).

Rule #3 – Keep Calm and Collected

Keep your calm

I know it is the HARDEST thing to do in this situation. You are upset, hurt beyond belief, your whole life is crumbling under your feet – But you have to confront him when you are calm and collected. Focus on the facts and don’t let your emotions control you. If you attack him and scream at him he will probably use it to storm out of the house saying he can’t talk to you and use this time to get his story straight. Be prepared with your proof and don’t let him turn the focus to your snooping. You can say, “Yes, I admit it was wrong to snoop on you, but the FACT is that I had a good reason to do that – Here’s the evidence.”

Rule #4 – Don’t Let Him Turn the Tables on You

The table should not be turned

He will probably try to blame the whole thing on you. It’s much easier than providing an explanation to his behavior. He will instinctively call you crazy, stupid, insecure, childish and a psycho. Don’t let him do that. You can say – “O.k., I am stupid and childish. Who is she and how long have you been cheating on me?”

Demand an explanation. He may also try to get you to admit that he had a good reason for cheating. He may ask you “Why would I look for sex outside my relationship?” and get you to think of an excuse for him (clever, right?) or to make you believe that he has no reason to cheat. Make him answer his own questions by saying nothing. Just look in his eyes as long as it takes and wait for him to answer it by himself.

Rule #5 – If He Still Won’t Admit – Try This Jedi Mind Trick

If he insists on denying, and your proof has “holes” in it, try to take some of the blame on yourself. You don’t have to mean it; it’s just a tactic to get him to confess. Bring up the possibility that you may not have been giving him what he needs – Sexually, emotionally or otherwise. If he is close to confessing, it will make it much easier for him to tell you the truth. He will not feel like the only one to blame in this overwhelming crisis in your relationship.

Rule #6 – The Most Important Rule of All

Do not assume that an affair will end your relationship. You may find it hard to see right now, but an affair is just a symptom of a “diseased” relationship. You can go with the “Once a cheater always a cheater BS, or you can stop, think about it a little and consider giving your relationship one more chance.

But I have to warn you: Do NOT attempt to do it alone. You need professional help. Start right now with this excellent Free Report to discover the first steps in surviving an affair.

Remember – even if he cheated, it doesn’t mean he has no love for you anymore. (There is a simple tactic to discover if he still loves you – In This Article). Something went terribly wrong along the way, but if you both commit to the healing process, you have a chance of winning a better relationship than ever.

Surviving an affair requires honesty and transparency that can work wonders on your relationship. It’s hard for me to admit it, but my husband’s affair and the healing journey we went through together has brought us a new and amazing communication, honesty and eventually more love than ever.

I hope you found this article useful friends. I know how you feel, I’ve been there and this advice comes from experience (mine and others). Please help to spread the word about these rules and share them with others.

I would love to read your stories, thoughts and experience and answer any question you have, so go ahead and type your comment below.

Lisa

How to Love Your Husband – The #1 Secret to Reigniting the Love for Your Spouse (and His Love for You)

Lisa Penn — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 08:15:47 +0000

Your marriage has been through a lot. The passion and the deep connection you used to have are gone, and your husband has turned from your best friend to your enemy. Do you really want to know how to love your husband? This is the #1 secret to restoring the love to your marriage – today.

You don’t have to be ashamed. Believe it or not, MOST married couples go through rough times, in which one or both spouses fall out of love. But if you truly want to know how to love your husband again, there’s a very good chance that you can save your marriage and even make it happier than it ever was.

What you need is commitment, knowledge, and a set of skills that have helped other couples create great marriages (If you want to learn these skills from a professional family therapist – This is where to start).

The #1 Secret to Restoring the Love

Your friends and confidants will probably tell you that it’s impossible to force your self into falling in love with your spouse. You either feel the love, or you don’t.

That is simply not true.

You were once deeply in love with your husband. These feelings are probably still there, but they can’t get out because they are stuck behind anger, frustration, exhaustion and unresolved conflicts. If there was a way to lift these negative feelings, the love that you once felt can resurface again – Very quickly.

The secret is controlling your ancient instinct – The anger instinct. This is one of the most important steps to take if you want to rebuild the love in your marriage. Anger has turned your husband from your best friend to your enemy.

Do You Know How Your Best Friend Turned into Your Enemy?

You may find it hard to believe, but anger – An ancient instinct that was intended to help us deal with a TRUE enemy – is exactly what turned your husband into your enemy. As a modern society, we managed to control other ancient instincts: We will not have sex with the first person we see on the street, even if we are feeling horny. We won’t snatch someone else’s sandwich from his hands – even if we are very hungry. But we can’t seem to control our anger responses.

When we are attacked (even if it’s just verbally) we immediately feel that the attacker is our enemy.

The moment you attack your spouse or your spouse attacks (accusation, blaming, personal criticism, name calling), you will automatically identify each other as enemies. And who can LOVE their enemy?

With time, you feel like the love is lost and all you can concentrate on is that your husband annoys you, that he is selfish, and you don’t understand why he is so mean to you. This can and will destroy your marriage.

So…How to Love Your Husband – Again?

The only solution is to start treating your husband as your best friend instead of your enemy. Easier said than done, right?

You have to control the ancient instinct of anger. You have a conscious mind and only YOU decide how to behave and what to say in life situations. Every time you speak to your husband, or he speaks to you, remind yourself to communicate with him as if he was your best friend.

You don’t have to agree with what he says, you don’t have to do what he demands you to do and you don’t have to like the way he talks to you. Consider it a good thing that the communication is still there. That he is trying to share something with you, even if he doesn’t know how to do it nicely.

It won’t be easy.

But when you start treating him like your best friend, he will do the same with you, even without noticing it at first. If you don’t attack him when you communicate, he will stop identifying you as his enemy too.

This is not a simple process and there are more step by step instructions for rebuilding the love in your marriage – Right here.

Even if you are the only one trying, it will make a significant change to your relationship, guaranteed. If you can accomplish this, the next steps will be much easier. This is the first step in the path of finding that deep and passionate connection you have always dreamt of.

I hope this advice has helped you (even just a little…). If you think others can benefit from it, please share it with your friends.

All the power to you,

Lisa

Online Marriage Counseling – 4 Benefits That Make Online Counseling Better than Traditional Therapy

Lisa Penn — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 08:17:10 +0000

Online marriage counseling is becoming increasingly more popular over the last few years – And for very good reasons. Online couples counseling services offer the same qualified and experienced professionals (via phone, chat or email), but with added benefits that traditional counseling just can’t provide. Some people opt for ongoing counseling with a single counselor, while others choose a single session with a counselor just for guidance on a specific matter.

4 Reasons Why Online Marriage Counseling is Better Than Traditional Sessions

There is little doubt that marriage counseling works (you can the statistics here), but the traditional system has a few major flaws that make some of us hesitant about using it. This is how online marriage counseling solves all these problems (thus becoming the most effective solution to save your marriage):

The Price

Problem: Traditional couples counseling is usually very expensive. An average session costs about 200$ (and let’s not forget the cost of getting to and from the clinic) and after a few months of counseling you may realize that your savings are gone.

Solution: Online marriage counseling is cheaper. It’s not because the therapist is any less credentialed, experienced and professional. It’s because he or she don’t have clinic-keeping costs. Also, you pay per minute and not per session. So if your phone call or chat took only 10 minutes, you only pay for 10 minutes.

Availability and Comfort

Problem: Traditional counseling is usually consisted of weekly sessions. You have to “stuff” all your frustration and pain to one hour a week. But our marriage exists all week, 24/7 and many times we need help right now. But we don’t get it. Second, many of us simply don’t have the time to get to and from the clinic.

Solution: Marriage counseling online is conducted at the privacy of your own home. No time is wasted to get to and from the sessions, but more importantly, it’s available almost 24/7. Even if it’s in the middle of the night, you can send an email, or pick up the phone and you will be helped almost immediately.

Choice of Counselors and Privacy

Problem: Face to face sessions require you to choose a counselor that has a clinic near by. You can’t start traveling for hours every week for your meetings. This limits the choice of counselors you have. Second, attending the same clinic every week raises the unwanted risk of running into a familiar face going in and out of it (who wants that?…).

Solution: Online counseling means you can talk to any counselor, no matter what part of the world you live in. It also means that your privacy and anonymity is secured. You won’t run into anyone because you’re at home, and you don’t even have to tell the counselor your name.

Spouse Motivation

Problem: Unfortunately, every marriage in crisis has a spouse who is much less willing to seek marriage counseling. That’s just the way it is. It’s very easy for a reluctant spouse to use excuses such as “I don’t have the time to go to therapy, I’m too busy at work”, or “We don’t have the money for this”.

Solution: Your spouse can no longer use these excuses because the sessions can occur day or night, after work hours and on weekends and he or she don’t even have to leave the house. And the money is not an issue when you can stop the session at any time and pay accordingly. Most online counseling services offer the few first minutes for free and you only pay if you decide to hire the therapist. That seems fairer to me.

How Exactly Does it Work?

On the right side of this website you can see the welcoming faces of a few of the best Live Person marriage counselors (LivePerson is the world’s leading provider of personal online expert counseling to thousands of people worldwide). They are all LICENSED and experienced professionals and you can see the rating and reviews they have recently received right next to their name. You can get your spouse or start immediately on your own – What ever and how ever you want.

Step 1 – Browse through the professional counselors’ profiles and choose a counselor (on the right side of the website).

Step 2 – Contact a Live counselor for immediate assistance. Click “Contact LIVE!” and start chatting with your personal counselor.

Step 3 – Start paying for your session ONLY when you are ready.

I Hope this article has helped you, please share it with your friends and I would love to read your personal experiences and opinions in the comments below.

All the power to you,

Lisa

Online Marriage Counselor – How to Find A Certified and Trusted Marriage Counselor Online

Lisa Penn — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 08:45:28 +0000

Every day, more and more people are discovering the benefits of online marriage counseling as an immediate solution for saving their marriage. But…why? What are the benefits of an online marriage counselor over traditional counseling and how to find a certified and trusted professional? This guide has the answers.

How to find an online marriage counselor?

The Benefits on Online Marriage Counseling Over Traditional Therapy

1. Availability – The most important benefit of an online marriage counselor is his immediate availability. You can’t wait when you need answers NOW. Most marriage counselors online are available to talk to you, either by phone or mail, every day. You don’t have to wait for a whole week to your next counseling session to while trying to salvage your relationship.
2. It does NOT take 2 to tango – While traditional marriage counseling requires both you AND your spouse to attend the weekly sessions, the best online marriage counselors can help you save your marriage even if your spouse is not willing to participate. One person can save and restore a marriage and the top online marriage counselors will teach you how to motivate your spouse to work on your marriage with you.
3. Cost – Traditional face to face marriage counseling is a very expensive treatment, while results are not even guaranteed and many times it simply fails. Only those who tried traditional sessions that failed to save their marriage can tell you how frustrating it is to spend most of their savings and ending up divorced at the end. Online marriage counseling costs significantly less, offers money back guarantees and if it doesn’t work – At least you haven’t thrown your hard earned money down the drain.

How to Find a Certified and Trusted Online Marriage Therapist

As more and more people are looking for online counseling, more and more marriage-saving-programs are popping up online. How do you find a trusted and certified professional and prevent being scammed?
Well, this is what I am here for…

The Top 2 Most Trusted Online Marriage Counseling Programs

After a long research, looking for testimonials of real people (on forums) I have found the top 2 most recommended marriage counseling programs (I have used one of them with great success so I am a little biased…)

Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness

Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation.
The Marriage Fitness program is actually an alternative to marriage counseling. You can choose from a variety of solutions: private Tele-Sessions with Fertel, The Marriage Fitness Tele Boot Camp, Audio Learning System and more. I have found that most people choose the Tele-Boot-Camp. It’s probably the most affordable way to get real marriage help and counsel. It offers a lot of resources and also personal access to a professional counselor. You don’t need ant special technology, just a telephone and you can start any time, whether you are trying to save your marriage alone of with your spouse. The first step in Marriage Fitness is to sign up for the Free e-series of emails that includes a Free relationship assessment, no strings attached. You can sign up – Right here.

Marriage Sherpa Marriage Coaching

The Marriage Sherpa program offers a few solutions: One of them is a complete step by step system to saving your marriage, created by Dr. Frank Gunzburg, a well known family therapist with 30 years of experience in marriage counseling. The program delivers over 200 pages of practical tools, steps and methods that work, and also a companion workbook to help you understand what the real problems are, where they come from and how to fix them. I actually used this system and saved my marriage (almost shattered by my husband’s affair). You can find out more at the official website – Right here.

I truly hope this information has helped you and saved you a few tedious hours of research about an online marriage counselor. If you found it helpful please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or anywhere…Thanks!:)

Sexless Marriage – 5 Reasons For Your Husband’s Low Sex Drive

Lisa Penn — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 09:13:29 +0000

“I know nothing about sex because I was always married.”

- Zza Zza Gabor

Marriage therapists estimate as many as 20 percent of couples are in a low-sex or sexless marriage in the USA. To my surprise, often enough it’s the men, heterosexual men, who don’t want sex with their spouse.

How many times do you hear about a woman complaining about her sexless marriage? Not So Much. For most women it’s very hard to talk about their husband not wanting to be intimate with them anymore. Women tend to take this personally and think that there is something wrong with them instead of talking about it openly and get help.

What Are The Possible Reasons For Your Husband’s Low Sex Drive?

The first thing you should remind yourself over and over is that NOTHING is wrong with YOU. It’s not because you gained a few pounds, it’s not because you don’t like sex toys, and it’s not because of who you are. Got it? Say it again. These are the possible reasons for your husband not wanting sex:

1. Unresolved Marriage Conflicts

If you have marital problems and you fight a lot, or he comes home everyday and finds you angry again, or upset all the time – It simply turns him off. Again, this is not your fault. You are probably upset because you have a good reason to be upset – and the only way to solve this is to work on your marriage together and get professional help.

If marriage counseling is too expensive (it costs at least 300$ for a session usually), there are plenty of excellent alternatives that will be equally helpful but will not drain your bank account. Some of these alternatives are Online Marriage Counseling and online marriage saving e-courses, written by experienced family therapists.

2. Money and Work Problems

A man can easily become depressed and lose his sex drive if he has troubles at work, or has lost his job or he is not able to provide for his family. This is a common situation is America and especially now. Depression causes low sex drive in men and women both.

3. Infidelity

Unfortunately, when a man suddenly doesn’t want sex anymore – he could be having an affair. This happens usually very quickly and suddenly and not as a process. If you have a gut feeling that he is cheating and you noticed that he stopped initiating intimate relations with you, he definitely could be having an affair.

There are ways to find out if he is cheating, without spending a lot of money for private detectives. You can find out simply by checking his credit card activity. You can learn how to do that and what to look for in this article.

4. Physical Problem

Does he work long hours? Consume too much alcohol?

If you don’t suspect an affair and your relationship seems to be as strong as ever (he is still affectionate, loving, touching etc…) there may be an undiagnosed medical condition that causes his low sex drive. These problems could be diabetes, anxiety and panic disorder, stress, low testosterone levels, heart problems, Parkinson’s, anemia, hypothyroidism, neurological disorders, chronic pain, arthritis and more.

5. More Common Causes

These are some more reasons that could contribute to your husband’s low libido: A desire to control or punish you, a way to have power over you, anger, past sexual abuse, working long hours, working too hard and working long hours, drug consumption.

Don’t Ignore the Problem

Sex is a critical part in a lasting relationship. Ignoring your sexless marriage will not resolve the problem and it will not go away on its own. Remember, you are not the only woman suffering from a low sex marriage and there is no reason to feel unwanted and unloved. The best solution for this problem is professional help and marriage counseling – whether it is face to face or online – as long as you get up and Do Something Right Now!

I hope you founs this post useful, please help and stop this subject from being taboo. Just share it with your friends on the left. Thanks!:)

Lisa

How to Save Marriage From Divorce – 3 Uncommon Ways to Save Your Marriage

Lisa Penn — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:26:43 +0000

Contemplating divorce? Wait. There is hope yet. Discover how to fight for your marriage…and win!

I was so happy the day I married my husband. We were both sparkling eyes and hearts full of love. We swore to be together forever and we meant it.

Cut to 11 years later. Every day I ask myself how to save marriage from divorce. We hardly ever talk or see each other. A silent anger is between us all the time. We never spend family time together. I am always suspicious that he is cheating, he always complains and nothing I do is good enough. My children notice this and seem so sad.

Things look hopeless and divorce is definitely lurking around in the corners. How could this have happened to us? What did I do wrong? Who is to blame? How can I save my marriage from divorce?

As these questions took hold of my thoughts and depression slowly took over me, I decided not to give up. I started looking for help because I knew we can’t survive this marriage crisis alone. After a long search and a many mistakes (mainly due to questionable advice on the internet), I finally found the last relationship advice book I’ll ever read. Implementing the exact steps given to me in this book literally saved my marriage.

I want to share 3 golden ways to save your marriage – All of them taken from this book. I hope it helps you as it did me:

1. Stop Asking What’s Wrong and How To Fix It

A common and very human mistake we all make is always looking for what is wrong and how can we fix it. Why can’t we get things right again? why can’t we get back to the way we used to be? Why did he cheat on me?

There’s nothing wrong in finding the weak spots in your relationship and working to better them somehow, but focusing on the bad things in your marriage has its price: It puts an emphasis on the marriage crisis, it makes you feel that things are hopeless and it’s a shaky foundation for rebuilding your relationship. So, what’s the uncommon way to deal with this?

Focus on the positive aspects of your marriage. Take a trip down memory lane: try to remember happy times, loving moments that you shared together. Look at pictures of you on a trip together, smiling and touching.
Remember why he became your best friend. Is he the only one that knows your deepest fear because he’s the only one you’ve shared it with? Does he have the same sense of humor as you? Write down all the qualities of your spouse and your marriage. This will remind you the foundation of your marriage and how you can both be happy together.

2. Feel Angry, But Keep Your Cool

When your marriage is in crisis, anger becomes your companion. How many times have you experienced feeling Boiled over in rage over something your spouse said or did? How many times have you responded angrily at how irresponsible he has behaved?

Feeling angry is understandable, and venting your anger can even strengthen your communication. But acting angry will only make things worse and cause more problems than you started out with. So, what’s the uncommon way to deal with this?

Identify your anger point – Identify the point when you decide to become angry. There is such a point and if you stop and think for a second – you will find it. Now – consciously decide to respond without the anger. Express your feelings. Start with “I am angry because I feel…” instead of “I am angry because YOU…”
Change your approach – Before telling him off, remind yourself that you are talking to your best friend, not your enemy. Only then start talking.

3. The Critical Ingredient In Saving Your Marriage

While these 2 pieces of advice are very helpful, you probably know that it won’t be enough. The critical ingredient in how to save marriage from divorce is…HELP.

You can’t do this alone and you can’t do this with only your spouse and some random advice from your girlfriends. You need professional help.

I couldn’t afford going to marriage counseling so I had to fins an alternative. Finally I found this book, from which I shared this advice with you. I learned about the #1 predictor of divorce, I learned new ways to connect emotionally, how to rebuild the respect and the honesty, how to heal after a fight and how to open up without getting hurt. It was a life saver for our marriage and we didn’t have to spend endless hours searching for a good therapist that will actually help (I hear so many stories about counseling that didn’t help) or spend half our saving on counseling sessions.

I really hope you learn how to save your marriage from divorce and I wish you have a long and happy marriage. Please help spread the word about this advice and share it with your friends. Thanks!:)

Marriage Counseling – Does It Work?

Lisa Penn — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 08:33:38 +0000

If your marriage is in trouble, you have probably considered some kind of marriage counseling. But will it help you? Or will it make things worse? It is it worth the investment of money and time?

Just like me you simply want to know: Marriage counseling – does it work?

Marriage counseling - Does it work?

When I ran out of people that could give me the answer for this question (some said it works wonderfully, others said not at all), I started looking for actual numbers – The statistics of marriage counseling success. This article finally gave me the answer. I am happy to share it with you now:

Marriage Counseling – Does It Work?

In a review of the literature through mid-1996, Pinsof, Wynne, and Hambright (1996: Pinsof & Wynne, 1995) concluded that significant data exists to support the efficacy of family and couples therapy and that there is no evidence indicating that couples are harmed when they undergo treatment.

Research outcomes on couples counseling suggest the following:

At the end of couple’s therapy, 75% of couples receiving therapy are better off than similar couples who did not receive therapy.
Sixty five percent of couples report “significant” improvement based on averaged scores of marital “satisfaction.”
Most couples will benefit from therapy, but both spouses will not necessarily experience the same outcomes or benefits.
Therapies that produce the greatest gain and are able to maintain that gain over the long amount of time, tend to affect the couple’s emotional bonds and help the spouse’s work together to achieve a greater level of “differentiation” or emotional maturity.⁵ The original article is here.

So, there you have it. When searching for how to save marriage, keep in mind that in MOST cases, marriage counseling works. In some cases it doesn’t work because the couple goes to therapy too late to really solve their issues. But, even in these cases, marriage counseling will help you finally decide whether to keep your marriage or end it, a heart breaking question that is too hard to answer by yourself.

Marriage Counseling – Are There Other Options and Alternatives?

If you are hesitant about going to a therapist, there are more options out there. These options are usually quicker and always cheaper. The first alternative is to get marriage counseling online. Online marriage counseling is not any less effective than face to face counseling, but it’s much less expensive.

The second alternative is a Free E-Course written by various family therapists. In such a course you will receive free, but still professional advice about many aspects of marriage problems – straight to your e-mail daily. On the top right of this website you can receive an excellent e-course that has helped my marriage a great deal.

The Marriage Sherpa Free e-course

The Marriage Fitness Free e-course

I hope you found this useful and I ask you to please Share how you feel about this information with your friends and Facebook it below right now: