Sexless Marriage – 5 Reasons For Your Husband’s Low Sex Drive

“I know nothing about sex because I was always married.”

   –  Zza Zza Gabor

Marriage therapists estimate as many as 20 percent of couples are in a low-sex or sexless marriage in the USA. To my surprise, often enough it’s the men, heterosexual men, who don’t want sex with their spouse.

How many times do you hear about a woman complaining about her sexless marriage? Not So Much. For most women it’s very hard to talk about their husband not wanting to be intimate with them anymore. Women tend to take this personally and think that there is something wrong with them instead of talking about it openly and get help.

sexless marriage

What Are The Possible Reasons For Your Husband’s Low Sex Drive?

The first thing you should remind yourself over and over is that NOTHING is wrong with YOU. It’s not because you gained a few pounds, it’s not because you don’t like sex toys, and it’s not because of who you are. Got it? Say it again. These are the possible reasons for your husband not wanting sex:

1. Unresolved Marriage Conflicts

If you have marital problems and you fight a lot, or he comes home everyday and finds you angry again, or upset all the time – It simply turns him off. Again, this is not your fault. You are probably upset because you have a good reason to be upset – and the only way to solve this is to work on your marriage together and get professional help.

If marriage counseling is too expensive (it costs at least 300$ for a session usually), there are plenty of excellent alternatives that will be equally helpful but will not drain your bank account. Some of these alternatives are Online Marriage Counseling and online marriage saving e-courses, written by experienced family therapists.

2. Money and Work Problems

A man can easily become depressed and lose his sex drive if he has troubles at work, or has lost his job or he is not able to provide for his family. This is a common situation is America and especially now. Depression causes low sex drive in men and women both.

3. Infidelity

Unfortunately, when a man suddenly doesn’t want sex anymore – he could be having an affair. This happens usually very quickly and suddenly and not as a process. If you have a gut feeling that he is cheating and you noticed that he stopped initiating intimate relations with you, he definitely could be having an affair.

There are ways to find out if he is cheating, without spending a lot of money for private detectives. You can find out simply by checking his credit card activity.

4. Physical Problem

Does he work long hours? Consume too much alcohol?

If you don’t suspect an affair and your relationship seems to be as strong as ever (he is still affectionate, loving, touching etc…) there may be an undiagnosed medical condition that causes his low sex drive. These problems could be diabetes, anxiety and panic disorder, stress, low testosterone levels, heart problems, Parkinson’s, anemia, hypothyroidism, neurological disorders, chronic pain, arthritis and more.

5. More Common Causes

These are some more reasons that could contribute to your husband’s low libido: A desire to control or punish you, a way to have power over you, anger, past sexual abuse, working long hours, working too hard and working long hours, drug consumption.

Please Don’t Ignore Your Sexless Marriage

Sex is a critical part in a lasting relationship. Ignoring your sexless marriage will not resolve the problem and it will not go away on its own. Remember, you are not the only woman suffering from a low sex marriage and there is no reason to feel unwanted and unloved. The best solution for this problem is professional help and marriage counseling – whether it is face to face or online – as long as you get up and Do Something Right Now!

Rooting for ya,

Lisa

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Comments

  1. says

    Very good points. My man loves to cuddle but has a low sex drive. I thought it was me for a long time. After getting online and doing some research, I realized it most certainly was not me. :)

    For him, we realized it had almost every thing to do with the fact that he was put on Ritalin at age 5 and until he was in his 20’s and we were married, he took AD/HD medication. That medication did something to his libido.

    Knowing the what’s and why’s can go so far in helping one cope. Keep up what you are doing here! :)

  2. anonymous says

    I need help my husband isn’t cheating he’s just inconsiderate lately I’ve been the one touching bit other wise we don’t have sex I want affection and need to know how can I get it other wise I’m leaving him

  3. Renae Dorsey says

    I’ve given up. Two can play that game. This didnt happen overnight and has gone on far too long. I love him but all the emotional abuse has caused me to not be IN LOVE with him. I’m nobody’s doormat. I’ve sought counseling, poured out my emotions and nothing in return. I’m done. You can’t make anyone love you.

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