Why Men Watch Porn (And Lie About it)

why men watch porn

“I just don’t get it. I like sex. I’m available whenever he is interested. Why can’t he stop watching those porn bimbos?”

It just feels like you are not good enough, doesn’t it?

Your husband or boyfriend likes to look at other naked women to “pleasure himself” and it makes you sick to your stomach. Are you not attractive enough? Don’t you do enough in bed?

Why do men watch porn?

 You think that your man looks at these pictures and thinks: ‘Look at her. She’s just beautiful. Why can’t you be like that?

If that’s not enough, when you confront him about it, he lies straight to your face. He promises he will never do it again but soon enough you find new evidence on his computer or phone. Why do men watch porn and lie about it? Is it cheating?

Do All Men Like to “Watch Those Skanky Women”?

No, your partner is definitely not the only man watching porn, otherwise it wouldn’t be a multi-billion industry.

The statistics are truly staggering. The pornography industry has larger revenues than Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple and Netflix combined.

According to compiled numbers from respected news and research organizations, every second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography. Every second 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography.

In that same second 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines. Every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being created in the U.S. (Source: toptenreviews.com)

Personally, I’ve never met a man who completely abstains from porn. And if you think you know such a man, he is probably lying to you.

 The Truth about Why Men Watch Porn

Men are visual creatures, they get turned on by visual triggers much more than women and it has NO emotional effect on them what so ever. These are the REAL reasons men watch porn:

1. For men, an orgasm is a great stress reliever (not to say that it isn’t also the case for women.)” No one knows why; it just is. So if he wants to quickly relieve stress, he will use porn to do that when you are not around.

He will do it even if you ARE around because he just wants to relieve some stress and not “make love” right now. You know how you like to call your best friend when you want to vent? This is how HE vents.

2. Men feel guilty about having sex just for sex’s sake with their wives or significant others. They feel like they are using her as a thing (as opposed to making love to the woman they love). So instead, they use pornography and masturbation.

3. Men like sexual variety and porn has an endless selection to choose from. This is true whether you like it or not. Would you rather he satisfies this need for variety through actual cheating?

Is Porn Cheating?

is-porn-cheating

 In my opinion, watching porn and masturbating to strange women’s images is NOT cheating. As long as he’s not fantasizing about a co-worker that he sees at work every day, as long as he only watches completely strange women that he never met, he is not cheating.

But Lying about it IS. Lying about it is not acceptable. So why do they lie about it?

 “Women Go Ballistic When You Tell Them the Truth”

This is basically what men think. And I think you’ll agree. O.k., you know men are different sexually but if you can’t trust him to be honest where will it end? You don’t understand why he keeps lying about it.

The answer lies within your question. Men lie about porn because they know how much you hate it, how it makes you feel and they have GIVEN UP about making you understand that not every porn-watching man is a degenerate sex addict.

 Can Porn Destroy Your Relationship?

It may sound sad, but pornography and male masturbation probably saved more relationships than they have destroyed. It’s a fact of modern life.

But, when you realize he is replacing you with porn more nights than not, he may be having a porn addiction. A porn addiction can definitely ruin the best of relationships and seeking professional help is a must.

 As long as this is not the case, and your spouse is a loving and faithful partner, take my word for it and turn a blind eye. He may continue “taking matters into his own hands”, but at least he won’t lie to you about it.

 What do you think? Do you agree with me? Disagree? I’d love to read your comments!

Rooting for ya,

Lisa

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  1. The article was eye opening for me. I honestly thought that porn ruines marriages.

    When my sister told me her husband was watching porn, I was horrified and recommended that she tells him that she will register as a porn star and he would be an exclusive customer although there would be no guarantees. In my mind I was thinking that this would be a way of getting the guy away from porn as I dont think any man would allow their wife to become a porn star.

    Afetr the article i dont condone men who watch porn I just feel they have to be sensetive and considerate to their wives

    • Thank you so much Marsha for reading and commenting, I’m glad you liked it and that it made you think…:) Come back to visit soon!:)…

      Lisa

  2. If my husband wasn’t into porn, I never would have found out my orgasm could be so orgasmic! (over the top kind of orgasms) I like a little porn too, alot of women do. Personally, porn has been another tool to enhance our sex life. I think it can be a problem if it becomes an obssesive behavior. Anything that becomes more important than your relationship can be a huge problem, whether its porn, drinking, gambling, etc.

  3. I think that porn is awesome in a relationship when watching it TOGETHER. I hate to say it, but, I have issues with my husband and porn/masturbation. See, my husband will wait till I’m gonna leave for a little while or I’m asleep or in the shower and secretly watch. And he does it at work all the time. It really hurts my feelings because I am a very sexual person and want sex as much as possible. And I don’t get it as much as I’d like. I feel like when he masturbates at work than I’m shit outta luck for a couple days. So, it’s like that’s taking from me and us. And he lies, and he has all kinds of secret stashes of discs and thumb drives with porn on them and lies about it. I’m like, hello!!!!! What about me??? And I’ve talked to him about all this and yet it doesn’t change anything. He says he won’t do it but every once in a while but then he’ll be doing it again the next day, ALL DAY LONG at work, looking at the shit. I’m obsessed with it now. Only because of the lies and I’m jealous because I want more sex and not getting it. I could go into more detail, but you get the point. I don’t know why it bothers me so much when it didn’t before. Maybe because I’m overweight I feel less desirable to him. And I’m 37 and he only looks at the “barely legal”. So the girls he looks at are everything I’m not or will never be. I’m so angry and frustrated. If you have any suggestions or comments, please feel free. Thank you.

  4. Hi Amber

    I’m sorry you have to deal with this, believe me, you are not the only one. First of all, I don’t think it has anything with your age, men always drool at women that are the exact opposite of their wife (especially if the marriage is more than a few years), that’s why the prettiest of women got cheated on with much-less attractive women..

    As for what you’ve shared here, unfortunately it does sound like he may have some sort of a porn addiction, for which he needs professional help.

    When a man prefers porn over sex with his wife (assuming that the marriage is generally “doing o.k), it’s a sign of addiction.

    I hope you can convince him to get some professional help.

    Good luck and hang in there.

  5. My husband watches any and all porn. He lies about watching it and will even continue to lie about it when he is shown the proof. To make matters worse, he moved out of our bedroom 9 months ago. We have not been intimate in over a year – his choice. He also frequently calls ex-lovers even with me in the room and ends each call with “I Love You”. Prior to moving out of our bedroom, there was not any sex for months. I want to be intimate but my husband will not have anything to do with me. If I try to talk to him, touch him, or initiate any sort of physicial connection, he pulls away.

    • I am going through the same thing. I feel so sorry for myself and our son. In my case, I think he’s been intimate with both sexes. Considering the type of porn that I’ve found. He’s checked out emotionally and physically. But it’s been a long time now and I’ve checked out emotionally. You can only be pushed away so many times until you give up. I’ve had a couple breakdowns and I’m not the same person I used to be. I’ve been solicited for sex a lot. I turn it down and then I slap myself. I know it’s wrong but where’s the value and commitment of my marriage. He refuses help so I’m done. Porn can destroy your marriage. Beware.

  6. I asked my husband to watch a video considered porn that teaches him how to make certain moves in the bedroom when a friend suggested it. Our sex life had drastically improved. I liked porn from there on out. I think pornography won’t destroy marriages, addiction to it does, when it takes away time from family and being intimate with your spouse, that’s the time it is not healthy for the marriage, it’s no different from eating too many eggs in a week. Anything in moderation is the key.

  7. I’m torn. My boyfriend and I discussed this a while ago and he told me he wouldn’t watch it again because he knows it upsets me. We don’t have much sex, maybe a few times every two weeks or so. Mostly he asks for blow jobs (which he always gets). He’s older and not horny all the time like me. But now it seems like every time I leave him home alone he watches porn and masturbates. Not only did he lie, but now it seems like he just doesn’t want to have sex with me. And I’m starting to feel like I don’t want to have sex with him. What makes it special if he’s going to just go look at other, prettier, sexier, naked women and satisfy himself? I like porn, but when I got into the relationship I stopped. And when the sex slowed down I made efforts to bring it back to speed with lingerie, special lubes, sex toys, games, and new positions. If I ask why he whacks off when I’m not around and doesn’t initiate sex when I am, he pretty much says it all depends on when he’s horny, and if I’m around or not when it happens is hit or miss. I’d be fine if he would just tell me the truth, and maybe we could even watch it together. It just feels wrong to me.

    • Dani, that sounds a lot like my situation. I’m the “Amber” that commented 3 above you. I feel just like you do. But, my husband will masterbate when I’m home. I’ve caught him in the garage when I was home and ready and willing to have sex at any time. It makes me so angry. He’ll use the excuse like “well you’ve been being a bitch lately”. And the only reason I had been a bitch is because I saw the he had been looking at porn as soon as I left to go somewhere. And every time he would do that, I would be more pissed and become a bigger bitch, etc. Long story short, now my desire to be intimate with him has faded away soooo much. And I’ve told him over and over that that was happening and that he was ruining our marriage slowly but surely, and yet, it continues. Every time we have a fight about it he swears he’s sooo sorry and that he won’t do it again and that he’s sorry and he’s so sorry, etc. Bullshit. He’s just sorry he got caught. I feel for you and hope your situation gets better. If you ever need to chat you can contact me here and we can exchange emails. I have not told anyone I know what I’m going through, and this is the only place I’ve ever been able to talk about my feelings. (except with my husband).

      • Ladies, ALL men do this and all men are the same in this aspect. Sad but true. They’ll find loopholes, be secretive, lie. Etc. We either decide they’re worth enduring this or we be single or gay. It is what it is. I’m sorry ladies. If a man isn’t interested enough to stop doing what hurts you then don’t waste your time with him regardless of whether you have kids or not.

  8. Since it’s no big deal and it’s helping the guys out, the he won’t mind that his partner gets a site so other guys can whack off to her. This article is bs justification for guys to cheat in their own homes under their own partners noses under the guise of it doesn’t mean anything. It does. And if it doesn’t, then let your girl get a site.

    • SJ…harsh Words, but unfortunately for me the Truth too. It does matter…or does it not matter either, when I would watch hot male Strippers getting down to it…and here comes Hubby Bubby…haaa I bet He’d lose it…well at least mine would. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?!

    • SJ… I totally agree with you. It DOES matter, cuz when Women just nearly dare to turn their Heads after a attractive Man, all Hell will break lose… So either the same Rules for BOTH or none at all… That’s exactly what I told my Husband…again, needless to say, Silence was the only Thing that came back as Reply. Go figure!!!

  9. I had to read the Article twice and even when I understand the Point and put myself in the Position, I disagree…well I don’t even disagree… I simply have a different Opinion and I have different Standards/Priorities. I’m 36 Years old my Husband is almost 27-so yes some Difference. Unfortunately, I JUST discovered, that my preaching “I don’t like Porn ..I think its disrespecting Women” lovely Husband is full of Sh%##^… HE passed me HIS Phone, because I had to make a call. Stupid and dumb as He is, he didn’t close all the Google Apps he had open, but to use the Phone Keyboard I had to close that. Tadaaaa- Porn Pics…mostly “Charlies Angels” Actor Names were used in the Search Engine. Needless to say,HIS Phone went flying across the Kitchen/Diningroom, He tried to play it off, but I kept on walking out of the House, or I would’ve beaten HIS A$$. All Day I had to play it off, act like nothing happened, since our Daughter was around, but He didn’t dare to speak to me, since He knew exactly what was wrong. Late that Night I couldn’t keep it any longer and I left the Bedroom, I couldn’t stay in the same Bed, same Room almost not even in the same House like He. My Stomach was torn, my Heart Murmur kicked up to 235 and I couldn’t calm down. He couldn’t let me be and came after me. The worst Fight ever broke down. After endless 4 Hours or so of Fighting, my Mind was blank. I didn’t believed a single Word of His desperate Try of Explanation when, why and blaaaa … That was 5 days ago, my Husband is on a Military Exercise (Army) until Sunday and my Mind can’t stop. My Trust is broke and it’s driving me nuts. One Priority Rule we had from the Beginning was, that Cheating starts for me already in the Head and He’s been agreeing with me on it for the last 6 Years. Yes, I feel betrayed, lied to and cheated on…and as much as I tried to put it up as a “It’s a Guys Thing with no Meaning behind it” I can’t forget it. So as you can see, some People can’t just explain it in a easy way and leave it with that. I, for me personally, I have to think of something to fix my Head and Heart now, cuz the Way it feels right now, is the Way down the Hill for our Marriage…. I’m sorry I couldn’t give a more positive Feedback. Best Wishes to y’all from Ga

    • Hi Mary,
      I understand how you feel, at least going through something similar as you. My husband isn’t in the military but we have been together 6+ years and I have always felt like you about porn. my husband would always agree and say things like “who needs stuff like that when I have you”…Well I have caught him watching porn a few times since we have been together, at least the history on computer and such (which seemed like every time I left the house or wasn’t in the room at times). one time walked in. He has always hid it and lied about it. Even times I would have the proof in black and white he would still deny it at times. When I would ask him about it at times He kept swearing that he didn’t watch it anymore, thought it was disrespectful, didn’t want to hurt me, blaa, blaa, blah… He swears that he doesn’t jerk off to it, which i am not dumb enough to believe. And what bugs me more is that I am always willing to have sex, even though he doesn’t at times last long enough for me to really enjoy it through intercourse. He does go down on me and such before we have sex so I get my pleasure but it’s not the same for me. Sorry if TMI, I try new things, experiment, let him try things on me that I didn’t know if I would like or not at times, am very giving and pretty much does whatever he asks for in the bedroom. I ask him to tell me what he likes and all he says is that he likes what we’ve been doing. He isn’t much of a talker and rarely gives me his opinion on things. it’s always “i don’t know”. Yesterday i had to work and he did not. when i got home i found diff porn sight cookies from while i was gone. I asked him about them and for once (i guess it’s because he knew he was busted and i have preached to him so long about not being able to trust him because of his lying) he admitted to being on it. what gets me though is that he went to the trouble of opening a guest account on cuputer, logging off main account, logging on to guest account, going on private browsing, deleting cookies, logging off and then closing guest account on administrative account all to try and hide it. so there was no attempt of being open or honest with me to begin with. when i calmly asked him what kind of sights he was on all he would say is “i don’t know” “i don’t remember”at first. he asked why i cared and i told him it’s because i want to be in the kind of marriage when i can share EVERYTHING with my husband and vice versa. i don’t like lies or for things to be hidden. i also told him that it might turn me on to know what he was looking at because it might turn me on. (i am bisexual but we have never done anything with anyone besides each other since we’ve been together. i know it can ruin a relationship and don;t want to risk it) but fantasies can be interesting. he knows this . when i told him that i was frustrated that he wouldn’t even tell me what he liked to look at, he finally said that he just looked up stuff like him and i do. OK. when i asked him what type of stuff he put in the search engine to find that, he told me “threesomes”. well he and i have never done that. so he just tried to lie to me again. it makes those comment of his of “why do i need that when i have you” and “why would i try to cheat with her, she’s old enough to be my daughter” well so are those girls on the porn sights. when i asked him why he went on it he yelled “because I could” ” i don’t feel like i get to do anything anymore”. well with four kids, younest three and oldest fourteen who has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals and residential centers for depression, and self harm, i don’t feel like i get to do anything either. it’s called parenthood though. he has two from a previous relationship who we have every other week fri-fri. anyhow this all gets me thinking after the at least the 20th time of trying to talk to him about it while he lies over the past six years, will i ever have that honest marriage that i desire? will he ever be honest with me? if he enjoys sneaking around, lying and hiding things from me to look at other naked women, what else does he do just because he can? i am so confuesed. am i just being insecure, is it wrong for him to lie about this, should i just let it go, ? i just don’t know. sorry about writing so much, i just needed to share and get others opinions. along with letting others know that they are not alone. maybe we can get through this together. who knows? any thoughts or opinions?

      • I totally agree with you Mandi. And I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’m going thru the same shit. I ask myself those same questions, often. Will he ever be honest about this, and if he can lie so easily about this, what else is he or will he lie about. Right? I’m glad that someone else feels as I do. And I don’t have anyone to talk about this, so it just eats me up inside. This is the only place I can talk about it or read about anyone else going thru the same. Thank you for sharing. If you’d like to talk more, let me know, reply back and we’ll figure something out. Ok. Anyway, good luck. ~Amber

    • I’m with you on this. My husband of 19 years has always known how I felt. We’ve had a few rough patches, but this past one has really destroyed us. We even had a discussion about porn where I asked him directly and he said no, he doesn’t watch it. I know he does, but he could look me in the eye and lie as if nothing bothered him about it. Thing is, I discovered he burned porn cd’s 8 years ago and has been hiding them from me. For 8 years! I am beyond disgusted and mad. I can’t trust him, plain and simple. How does a marriage survive that! Guess we’ll see. Why is it that I feel like I’m the bad guy? Why do I feel like I am in the wrong? I refuse to accept that! While this article may take the physiological side of things, it does not take the human feelings into consideration! There is no excuse for lying!

      • That is exactly my point. Well, at least one of my points. It’s amazing how they can look us in the eyes and flat out lie. And, what’s even worse, when he gets an attitude and pissed of for accusing him of looking at porn and masturbating. And deny, deny, deny. Even with proof. Still, to continue to lie to me. I’ve cried and begged and explained what I’m going through and how bad he’s hurting me and it doesn’t stop. For a few years now I have wanted more sex, only getting it a couple of times a month. And yet, nothing changes. I’ve caught him in the garage masturbating more than once, and I lost it! I mean, I was right there in the house and instead of coming inside and having sex with his wife, he chose to masturbate in the garage. Now, after all this time of trying to talk to him, make him understand how it’s destroying our marriage, now my feelings toward him in that way are almost no more. Whenever he attempts to be with me, I feel disgusted and mad and grrr. I just lay there, no longer even wanting to enjoy sex anymore. It makes me so sad. And let me tell you, it wasn’t like this before. We used to have the best love making ever! We always said we were made for eachother, but now, he doesn’t even notice that I’m not enjoying sex, nor does he care, at least not at the moment. Anyway, I’m sorry for rambling on and on. This site is the only time I’ve been able to speak (write) about what I’m going through other than with my husband. I just wish I could talk about my feelings to someone, you know. It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that I’m not alone. Thanks for listening.

  10. I think this is highly comical to me…although not in offense. My husband is an old school traditional HYPOCRITE living in 1920. He believes he can do and say and come and go as he pleases, while I, the mother of our 2 children and his wife, have a set code of standards to abide by. If I were on my phone looking up pictures of big meaty manly parts,and getting off to them, I’m SO sure he would “defecate a brick”. In his eyes, I am NOT allowed to do MOST of the things that he thinks he can do. This all started after we had our first child. I must be prim, proper and prudent at all times, otherwise, I feel I would be shunned as a harlot in my own home. Yet, he can look at some dirty tramp taking it in the nastiest way by a meat head pool boy…and a a few of his friends. I walk on eggshells daily worrying how he will react to the things I say and my actions (not that I am a wild person at all, the fact is, I’m pretty conservative. But every now and again I would like to let loose with my own husband) Anyway, I feel like most men would feel this way, as they might see this behavior from their own women as a loss of property/dignity of some sort? I feel like a lot of this is trying to encourage women to do all the emotional change and acceptance work in the relationship and it seems wrong. How should you deal with this type of behavior as a God-loving practicing Christian?

  11. also, adressing the statement in the article that he LIES about it because the woman will overreact…if he cheated, I’m POSITIVE he would lie about that, because a woman would CERTAINLY overreact to that, right? Humans mostly lie because they KNOW what they are doing is wrong…they lie because they have feelings of guilt. It’s complete human nature for us to “overreact” when we are told an UGLY truth by someone who has been doing something they feel guilty about or that is morally wrong. That right there sums up basically why I feel like the porn issue is not so innocent as the article leads it to believe. I have also seen porn as a gateway to infidelity as well, so I truly believe it works both ways as well. Some women are lucky enough to have a man who can just casually watch porn every now and again, while some women’s significant others can spiral into a serious addiction which can ruin the relationship as a whole…my two cents.

    • sorry, i meant to say that men/women who cheat will lie about it because they know how much we would HATE it….not that we would “overreact” lol

    • Hi, I almost never post to these kind of things. I’ll start by saying this is not in response to any one persons statement. I just thought I’d say a few things though from a, (A, not all) mans perspective. The first item is that Porn is like a gun or a car. It’s a tool. Porn does not destroy marriages anymore then a gun kills people or a car speeds. It’s all the person behind it. I thought the author was speaking from the point of a well adjusted man in a balanced, working relationship. And the author is correct, men like to look. I restrain myself from looking when with my partner because they are there and they deserve all my attention. From personal experience I can say it means nothing at all emotionally to look at other women in real life or privately through porn. I’d equate it to the same feeling women who enjoy shopping get looking at stores they have no interest in buying from. (remember, a singular man’s perspective here, so I can’t know for sure, just going from my personal experience) And yes, masturbation relives stress, relaxes me, and if I don’t go too long without an orgasm I get very touchy and grouchy. If I have a very stressful situation I will tend to masturbate more as it helps me deal with the stress. Yes, a loving sexual encounter with my partner does that too. But sometimes I just need the stress relief. And yes the author is correct, I feel dirty using the person I love and respect as a simple frustration relief tool, because love and affection is sometimes difficult for me to express. (I know someone will call Bull on this, but it’s a known and accepted fact that men find it more difficult then women to express that affection continuously.) It feels like I am faking affection that is really there because the stress I’m under overwhelms the desire I have for my partner, this in turn causes more stress and puts me in a downward spiral of trying harder because I feel worse. Now this is an occasional thing, not a standard excuse to escape sex for porn. I like sex a LOT more then porn because I like feeling loved and making my partner feel loved too. It’s just that occasionally I have other thoughts on my mind and need to shuffle them out the door before I can concentrate on who matters to me.

      I have had relationships where the woman disliked porn. Each time I made a major effort to stop on her behalf. Sometimes it was successful, sometimes it wasn’t. But here is the thing, the reason it’s very easy to break that commitment is because porn means nothing to me except as a means to achieve an orgasm and move on with my day. If you go back to the shopping analogy, it’s like a man telling that shopping inclined woman not to window shop anymore because it makes him feel like he’s not providing enough for her financially, thus denigrating him. It’s difficult to grasp the other persons side because the action does not have the emotional context for you. And besides, if that hypothetical woman is out with friends who want to window shop, it’s no big deal since they are doing it and she’s just going along. Or if they are by themselves in a mall and the husband shouldn’t ever be able to find out….

      I’ve also had relationships where we watched porn together, (honestly it always made me feel weird. I had affection for my partner, and none for the porn. The two meeting were very odd.) And I’ve had a partner that made home movies with me so I could watch them when I wanted to masturbate and not have to look at other women. Once I had our video I never did look at regular porn. I had no desire too, I had a video of the woman I loved being sexy for me. I didn’t have to work to express that affection back when I was overwhelmed because she wasn’t really there. I wouldn’t suggest that for everyone, some men can NOT be trusted with that kind of leverage in their hands. But it worked for us.

      Please realize I’m talking from the part of someone who enjoys porn for the relief it provides me. I’ve never understood how someone can tell another person they care about that they are “Not allowed” to enjoy a stress relieving, emotionless activity because it hurts their partners feelings without giving a work around or trying to find a way to understand. As I understand, women’s brains are wired differently then men’s and there is a lot more emotion involved in an orgasm for them. Ultimatums of, “If you can do it, I can do it” don’t make sense because it doesn’t affect you in the same way. And the man knows that and will force himself to try and stick to a promise he will probably break because he can’t argue with the statement.
      Additionally this article would not relate to a porn addict, anymore then one entitled, “why the casual drinker goes to a bar, (and makes up stories about their encounters after)” would apply to an alcoholic. Likewise if porn is a tool being used to wedge further gaps in a failing relationship, it’s not the porn that’s the issue. It’s the failing relationship. Like any good doctor will say, sometimes you have to address the symptoms, but the way to truly cure someone is to attack the cause.

      Intellectually I understand that for many women, their partner watching porn is seen as a condemnation against them. For this reason I try to respect my partners desire regarding it’s use. But my best relationships were those where that understanding wasn’t simply demanded, but returned in kind.

      • Thank you for taking the time and making the affort to share your thoughts about this from a man’s point of view. I hope it will help some of the women who come here.

  12. Ugh… I’m a dude and I hate porn because it’s the only freakin’ sex I get. I always had a certain disgust for it but I was always stupid enough to think it would be easier to stop when I’d get married. Been married for over 13 months… no sex whatsoever in the last 10 months. I want to stop porn and masturbating … fuck I hate it so much… I guess I would be called an addict if I admit I can`t stop?!? I love my wife and she is very affectionate, she wants me to hug and massage her all the time which I do… but she tells me she hates sex. Sometimes I wish she could do it to me like all the things I do for her… yet I want more than that… I just want my wife to enjoy sex it doesn’t matter if it’s scarce… I just want her to enjoy it and feel like I too am sexually attractive.

  13. I’m 21 and my partner of 2 years is lying to me about watching porn it makes me feel unattractive but he doesn’t see this side to it. I feel like walking away from him as I am available for intimacy whenever he wants he chooses not to accept it. Fed up is an understatement

    • Like I said, when your spouse prefers porn over sexual intimacy, it means he is addicted to porn.

      It’s like any other addiction. First you have to admit having it, and then you need help.

      If he won’t get professional help, nothing will change.

      Of course you are fed up. Now it’s time to take action. Give him an ultimatum – Either he admits it and gets help, or you’re out. Don’t get stuck in this situation forever.