Cheating partners. Two words that go along so often together, although so contradicting.
A real partner wouldn’t cheat, right?
Choosing between staying with your spouse who cheated on you, or send him packing today – Is extremely difficult, isn’t it?
So many factors “interfere” with your gut instinct to throw him out of your life right now. Children, the family, the fear, the financial worries…
So how are you supposed to make a decision…finally?
Should You Stay or Should You Go?
If the mental shock of finding out about your partner’s infidelity is not enough – Contemplating divorce is another devastating phase you seem to have to go through.
It’s like a blow to your gut. A crisis in marriage, by the way, is second only to dealing with death of loved ones.
When your relationship is at such a low point and you are angrier that you gave ever been in your life – Divorce seems like the “natural” solution. But, that is not necessarily true, even if you think that it’s the only way to salvage what’s left of your self respect and confidence.
And it seems obvious that trust can never be restored.
Here Are The Most Important Questions You Should Ask Yourself:
1. Is your spouse regretting the affair and is sorry for the pain he caused?
2. Has your spouse ended the affair for sure?
3. Has your spouse said that he wants to work out your problems and save your relationship?
4. Is your spouse willing to try marriage counseling?
5. Does your spouse still love you?
(As for the critical questions you need to ask your cheating spouse – You can find them HERE).
If most of the answers to these questions are YES – Saving your marriage and choosing marriage counseling over divorce is definitely possible (Just my opinion…).
What if He Won’t Go to Counseling?
Most cheating partners do NOT want to go to marriage counseling.
Nothing surprising about that. They are afraid of being judged, they are not ready to reveal the details of their cheating and they fear being humiliated (In this case read this post about how to save your marriage alone).
But if your spouse is willing to try an alternative to marriage counseling, such as a marriage saving program, or just relationship-building exercises, than there is still hope for you and your marriage.
Decided Not To Divorce Yet? This is What to Do Next
Marriage counseling is not always so easy – Sure, it is the only way to build your relationship back because (and don’t be fooled) – You CAN’T do this alone.
But sometimes your spouse won’t go to a counselor, and many times it is very expensive and we just can’t afford to pay 200$ a week for every session.
There are excellent alternatives to marriage counseling – Some of them are free and some are much less expensive (than marriage counseling) – and they could save your marriage – Even if you think there is no hope and your spouse doesn’t cooperate.
Cheating spouses are often much more open to this kind of marriage help.
When I was trying to deal with my husband’s affair, I couldn’t afford marriage counseling, so after a long research I found one book that helped me learn exactly what I have to do, step by step, so that my marriage survives this betrayal.
I share my review for this book Right Here.
What do you think? Should cheating men get another chance or is it the ultimate deal breaker?
Rooting for ya,
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